You may read the whole scientific paper in
www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(20)30097-3/fulltext
This is a summary of the ideas I found more relevant
Providing information and prioritising communication with children about COVID-19 is an essential component of our new lives in quarantine. Doctors are all focused on caring for a predominantly adult patient population, magnifying the invisibility of children's urgent psychological needs.
We are so worried with the implications of COVID-19 that this might compromise our ability to sensitively recognise and respond to children's cues or distress.
We might forget that children are around us and more than seeing, they are "experiencing" our stress.Children are well attuned to adults' emotional states at all times, and we must never forget that they are also facing extensive changes in their daily routine and social infrastructure.
A few important points:
Protecting our children from distress is something we always try to do, however, we know that children have a sixth instinct and can identify our feelings even though we don´t say a word about them.
We must never underestimate their comprehension, they might not understand biology but they know a lot about feelings.
Of course, when we talk to children, we need to take into account the child's age and level of understanding. But we know that sensitive and effective communication about life-threatening illness has major benefits for children and their long-term psychological wellbeing.
Children need honest information about changes within the family; when this information is absent, they attempt to make sense of the situation on their own.We need to be vigilant that children are not inappropriately blaming themselves or feeling that the illness is a punishment for previous bad behaviour.We know that this happens in some cases of parental divorce and builds up extra stress
Therefore, listening to what children believe about COVID-19 transmission is essential; providing children with an accurate explanation that is meaningful to them will ensure that they do not feel unnecessarily frightened or guilty.
Conversely, children and adolescents' anxiety can also manifest in challenging externalising behaviours, such as acting out or arguing, rather than more typically assumed tearful, sad, or worried responses.
I have experienced such manifestations at home with my daughters and it is not easy.
Although we often want to know how children are feeling, we often do not set an example by sharing some of our own feelings, and conversations might well be dominated by the practical aspects of illness. My wife is a doctor too and my youngest daughter has already told us one day: “My God, when are you going to talk about something else than Covid? I can´stand it any more!”. An absence of emotion-focused conversations might leave children anxious about the emotional state of the adults around them. This anxiety can inadvertently result in children's avoidance of sharing their own concerns in an attempt to protect others, leaving children to cope with these difficult feelings alone.
Last but not least, we need to be authentic about some of the uncertainty and psychological challenges of the pandemic, without overwhelming children with their own fears. This honesty not only offers a coherent explanation for what children are observing, but also grants permission for children to safely talk about their own feelings. Normalising their emotional reactions and reassuring children about how the family will look after each other helps to contain anxiety and provides a shared focus.
www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(20)30097-3/fulltext
This is a summary of the ideas I found more relevant
Providing information and prioritising communication with children about COVID-19 is an essential component of our new lives in quarantine. Doctors are all focused on caring for a predominantly adult patient population, magnifying the invisibility of children's urgent psychological needs.
We are so worried with the implications of COVID-19 that this might compromise our ability to sensitively recognise and respond to children's cues or distress.
We might forget that children are around us and more than seeing, they are "experiencing" our stress.Children are well attuned to adults' emotional states at all times, and we must never forget that they are also facing extensive changes in their daily routine and social infrastructure.
A few important points:
Protecting our children from distress is something we always try to do, however, we know that children have a sixth instinct and can identify our feelings even though we don´t say a word about them.
We must never underestimate their comprehension, they might not understand biology but they know a lot about feelings.
Of course, when we talk to children, we need to take into account the child's age and level of understanding. But we know that sensitive and effective communication about life-threatening illness has major benefits for children and their long-term psychological wellbeing.
Children need honest information about changes within the family; when this information is absent, they attempt to make sense of the situation on their own.We need to be vigilant that children are not inappropriately blaming themselves or feeling that the illness is a punishment for previous bad behaviour.We know that this happens in some cases of parental divorce and builds up extra stress
Therefore, listening to what children believe about COVID-19 transmission is essential; providing children with an accurate explanation that is meaningful to them will ensure that they do not feel unnecessarily frightened or guilty.
Conversely, children and adolescents' anxiety can also manifest in challenging externalising behaviours, such as acting out or arguing, rather than more typically assumed tearful, sad, or worried responses.
I have experienced such manifestations at home with my daughters and it is not easy.
Although we often want to know how children are feeling, we often do not set an example by sharing some of our own feelings, and conversations might well be dominated by the practical aspects of illness. My wife is a doctor too and my youngest daughter has already told us one day: “My God, when are you going to talk about something else than Covid? I can´stand it any more!”. An absence of emotion-focused conversations might leave children anxious about the emotional state of the adults around them. This anxiety can inadvertently result in children's avoidance of sharing their own concerns in an attempt to protect others, leaving children to cope with these difficult feelings alone.
Last but not least, we need to be authentic about some of the uncertainty and psychological challenges of the pandemic, without overwhelming children with their own fears. This honesty not only offers a coherent explanation for what children are observing, but also grants permission for children to safely talk about their own feelings. Normalising their emotional reactions and reassuring children about how the family will look after each other helps to contain anxiety and provides a shared focus.
